tfw no one suggested people to follow

here are some people I think are worth following:

@linear / @ky0ko @neauoire
@lanodan
@beegrrl@mastodon.surrealbee.com
@toast

send me some of your followees now thx

Follow

I will follow everyone who replies to this post with a good joke

@sir Jokes on us, Drew is a soulless robot without a sense of humour!

@sir there's no way you would follow me no matter what joke I told

@sir Fine, just because you're 'plainin' a lot,

Why was the broom late?

They overswept!

Meh, only one I can think of

@sir Drew and Hatsune Miku. Name me a better duo, I'LL WAIT!

@sir My jokes tend to be reflections of perceived truth. Sure it isn't haha funny, but it is 🤔

@sir
A bear walks into a bar and says,
"Give me a whisky and
.
.
.
Cola."
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.
The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure, I was born with them.”

@sir A gynecologist is a bit stressed, so he decides to get a hobby and goes to a vehicle maintenance class. He's not great in class, but his final test is 200 out of 100. Confused, he asks why.

"Well, I gave you 50 points for correctly identifying the problem."

"I gave you 50 points for fixing it."

"I gave you 100 points for doing it all through the tailpipe."

@sir why couldn't the buffalo use her cell phone?

Because she was ROAMING!

@sir

LIFO: Last In First Out
FIFO: First In First Out
FAFO: Fuck Around and Find Out

@sir *puts on a cool hat and gestures towards it enthusiastically*

Huuuuh? 😃 Well? 😃 What about this? 😊

@sir How do you spot a compsci extrovert? They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

@sir why are bad blacksmiths the best at starting shell scripts? Because they are used to pound, bang, slash, bin

@sir How far into the forest can a hare run? To the middle, then it starts to run out

@sir Not very original and maybe as half as deep as others, but still one of my favourites

@sir "Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"DDos attack"
"DDos attack wh-"
"knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock, knock knock"

@sir two ducks are chatting. The first one says: “Quack!” and the other one: “Hey! I was gonna say that!”

@sir vers quelle heure soupe le T-Rex ? Boarf... Vers dinosaure, dinosaure trente !

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